What It's All About

There is a reason that I didn't title this blog posting to future students "What Seeing Sideways is All About." Everyone who takes this class probably finds something very personally meaningful to take from it, because the skill learned in this class is simply the ability to look at things differently (to me). As a result, this class may end up revealing what is most important to you in life, not in class. Classes are fleeting moments in your lifetime, and in a few years you will have graduated and moved on to the next phase of your life. The things you experience and think about in this class, however, might help you see what's important about the big picture. That's what it has been to me, at least.

The format of this class is very open and pliable, because Beth tends to do "what needs to be done," versus "what's next on the list." The entire course in general is more relaxed and open than other courses, because the goal is to find what makes you personally more creative, more open-minded, more adaptable, more flexible, more perceptive. Every project involves making your own interpretation of ideas or events. Every class involves doing, saying, and hearing something you didn't expect. To me, the whole idea is simply exposure to different ways of thinking and looking at the world, and different means of expressing your interpretation of it. Or even ways of changing your interpretation of it, at times.

Or maybe this class won't be special or meaningful to you. Maybe you'll just enjoy the relaxing atmosphere as a little break from the more strict and demanding classes in your schedule. When I first started it, that's sort of what I was expecting: a less demanding class that might offer a creative outlet. But eventually I started funneling all of my daily experiences and thoughts into my Seeing Sideways projects, and somehow over time it became my little personal psychiatrist. Whatever I was experiencing each week, it somehow impacted that week's project, and doing so provided an outlet that I didn't know I needed.

In short, this class provided a framework of random ideas, concepts, and playtime sessions that naturally allowed me to figure out what's important to me. I won't share what that is, but if you're taking this class, maybe you'll figure it out for yourself. Or maybe not, but you will enjoy yourself in the meantime.

Pickles.

BAH! For some reason I thought we weren't meeting this week for class, but just noticed that we do indeed meet. Unfortunately, I'm working until 6pm today and I'm sitting at work realizing that I didn't turn in my Pickles. I had planned to upload several drawings I completed in one single night as a result of some intense inspiration I encountered last weekend. When I get home this evening I am going to upload them and provide an explanation of my strange journey into never neverland. Basically, last weekend I saw the end of the world, then I witnessed the Big Bang from start to finish, and watched the creation of the universe and mankind. Seriously... more details to come in a few hours when I have access to my sketchbook.

So anyways, I'm not sure if my appended comments will be read, but it's not about the grade anyways, right? So I'll just provide my explanation regardless. I can't really give super specific details due to legal and scholastic regulation, but basically a couple weeks ago my boyfriend and I encountered some unusual "cookies" let's say. I'm not a big fan of this type of cookie but I'm the adventurous type and didn't have plans that Friday night, so we enjoyed the special cookies, and enjoyed a visual spectacle of walls breathing and music becoming alive and a whole host of other interesting things. As the night progressed, eventually I listened to music and contemplated existence for a while and then entered a deep visual state of "zen." In front of my eyes I witnessed time and space break down, and I entered a rift in time where nothing existed. I then saw vast swirls of colors and elements converging, explosions all around me, everything existing everywhere, all at once. It was the big bang occurring in front of me, and I saw the entire life of the earth spanning from conception to the future.

Anyways, in all of that nonsense,I ended up breaking down my own perceptions, beliefs, and personality. It's like I stepped back from my self and could see my consciousness as a giant puzzle. I then pulled out the puzzle pieces, analyzed each one and the rearranged the puzzle. It's hard to explain.. but when I woke up the next day, I felt SIGNIFICANTLY less stressed out compared to how I had felt in the previous weeks. Somehow, I broke down my own psyche and rebuilt it.

In the wake of this experience, I felt a renewed sense of relaxed creativity. It's less like I'm forcing myself to think of ideas, and more like I'm naturally relaxed enough to just let things happen organically. My friend who supplied the cookies said, "You just got it all out." That's the perfect way to explain it.

Anyways, after all that, I feel a lot more relaxed. So the next day I did a ton of random sketches, just for fun. I actually finished a few, even, which has been rare for me in the last couple years. I decided to share this for my Pickles project because it seemed so intriguing and different from the norm... I was truly "seeing sideways."

Two of the sketches referenced:

Inspiration Round Robin

So my inspiration was a drumbeat, and its innately human qualities. Music usually does a fair job of inspiring me, but to think about a simple drum beat was a little different.

However, it did indeed inspire me. I grew up drawing and painting, mostly comic book styled drawings and things like that. Over the last few years, I have been really busy and stopped drawing for a long time, even to the point of losing some of my skill, which is frightening. But this semester I am also taking Newm-N275, so I've been practicing and regaining my skill. I still hadn't completed a full drawing in ages though, as I always end up stopping a sketch before I finish it. But for the first time in ages, I am about to complete a full drawing, I think.

Thinking about the drum beat and its symbolism for humanity, the heart beat, primal desire or rage; these things inspired me to draw this sketch, and I think it will end up being completed very soon. So, you could indeed say that my inspiration has been re-energized...

What Inspires Me

A lot of different things inspire me, but there is one thing that always provides immediate inspiration: music. Normally when I'm trying to come up with an idea for a project, I listen to music that is similar in tone or theme. Most of my artistic endeavors are related to drawing fight scenes, similar to what you might see in a comic book. When I'm trying to come up with a fight scene, I always listen to this one song that makes me feel all jazzy and dance-y- Daft Punk's live version of "Around the World/Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger:"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ItqVgaTIjI&feature=related

Check this out, and see if it inspires you...... If you hate electronica, then I apologize in advance =)

Response to class (11-15-10)

So I just finished reading several other student's blogs about Monday's class, and it seems like most of my classmates feel a bit lost in terms of who they are. This is likely normal for young adults, as many of these kids are probably just barely out of their teenage years, when NOBODY knows who the hell they are. As one of the few older students in the class (almost 26) I think I have a very slight advantage in this respect. I think the majority of people are significantly different at the end of every year, so I have the advantage of a couple extra years of exploring and finding myself.

The last few years, I've been developing this image of myself and who I will be in the future. I imagine the way I look, the way my talents have evolved, the way my emotions have matured, the lifestyle I will have, and many other things I desire for myself. Its difficult to explain, but I can almost see that ideal version of myself in the future, and I'm finally getting closer to becoming her. I can remember being in High School and having an image of myself in my twenties, and then when I finally made it to my twenties, that image turned out to be rather silly and unrealistic. But now that I can see the way the world really works, I know that I am actually reaching my goal this time. A few years ago, I never even could have imagined what it would be like to feel secure in my living situation. There was a period of time where I moved 11 times in the course of a couple years, solely because I didn't have any money or a good job or a place to live, even. And now, if I could go back and meet my 18-year-old self, I would probably be amazed at how different I am now, and how much my life has improved.

Anyways, to avoid writing a whole autobiography here, allow me to sum up-

It doesn't really matter if you're happy with who you are right now or if you even know who you are at all, because you will be different next year. When someone gives up on learning and evolving, they commit themselves to being the same person forever. I will never give up my pursuit of a better me.

Who the hell I think I am....

So, I have a pretty cool idea for this assignment that I'm working on, but I haven't completed it yet. Its a flow chart of the various events in my life that have shaped me, and the likely effects they have produced. In effect, it is a flow chart of my personality and its formation. Obviously this is a really simple and dumb idea, but I think personality formation is incredibly interesting, and I think I might learn something about myself by looking at all these aspects of my personality written out in a clear, concise display. I'll turn this in shortly... Assassin's Creed 3 comes out tonight at midnight... so no promises that I'll have it posted quickly ;)

Class reaction 11-8-10

Today's class was very interesting to me. Yes, even though I was playing with my laptop the whole time, I was paying close attention to what others were saying. As I listened to what people said, I had a lot of swirling thoughts that hadn't quite fermented into completion yet; that metaphor about your mind being a compost heap of ideas is fairly similar to my own process. I kept thinking about how different mediums can illicit different responses in people. My response to last week's class is actually creeping back into this response as well- because words are only symbols. While art is easily identifiable as symbolic, words are frequently taken for granted, and we forget that even a single word can evoke a vast array of different responses.
Another thing that I found particularly striking was the shift in my perspective about that room we were in. When I first entered the room, I was viewing everything with an open mind, but even so, I immediately thought, "Yeah I get it- abstract art is acceptable nonsense. I prefer artistic expressions that are more direct in their message." But after I heard the story behind its creation and let it all sink in, I started to view it differently. Its funny how knowledge and understanding can shape your opinion about almost anything, no matter how concrete your beliefs may be. Once I understood how the exhibit was created and why, I started to appreciate it more. Then I started to think about how art is one form of symbolic expression, and words are another form of symbolic expression. So does this "the more I know, the more I appreciate" viewpoint translate to words in the same way? If someone tells me "I am a Christian," for example, I immediately make assumptions about them. However, "Christian" is just a word, and my interpretation of that word influences my perception about those who associate themselves with it. I'm not sure if this ramble is making sense, but here's what I'm getting at:

That room was about more than paper, glue, or markers. Similarly, a Christian is more than a person who believes in the existence of Christ. A vast, unimaginable plethora of factors is inherent in any word, any situation, indeed any person. When someone even speaks a single word, a whole string of mental processes led to the expulsion of that word. I can listen to the word and make assumptions about its meaning, but I can never fully know what life experiences or perceptions added up to make the person say that word. In actuality, by this logic, every single facet of life is based almost exclusively on assumption.

On a related note, when I arrived at class today, I had absolutely no idea what I wanted to do for my Identity project. Now that I have pondered the concept of perspective and assumption, I may have an idea.